Robin Thicke: New Levels Of Creepy

I am not a fan of Robin Thicke.

Blurred Lines was catchy, yes. Far, far too catchy. I think the catchiness is what made many people overlook the actual content of the lyrics, lyrics which essentially, are about the blurred lines of consent.

As it made its way into mainstream media, everyone seemed to have it stuck in their head. I know I did! 

Once I realised what it was all about, I hated every second of "I know you want it" going round my head. But I think the worst thing for me was hearing my younger siblings singing it. My 15-year-old sister never really did, but my 12-year-old sister? My 8-year-old brother? Singing a song that validates rape culture? Disturbing to say the least.

It teaches my sister that her "no" isn't enough, that men are entitled to her body because they think so, and that it's okay for her to be treated like this. It teaches my brother, at 8-years-old that he doesn't have to have explicit, enthusiastic consent from a woman. That as long as he "knows she wants it", it's okay to take.

That's beyond messed up.

But anyway, while I could pick apart the lyrics (and don't even get me started on the video), I'm not actually here to talk about Blurred Lines today.

Instead I want to talk about Mr Thicke's latest creation, Get Her Back.

The song is from his latest album, Paula, set to be released within the next couple of weeks. 

Now, I don't know anything about the relationship between Robin Thicke and Paula Patton other than they were apparently childhood sweethearts, together for 22 years and married for 9, before announcing their separation in February this year.

I don't know why they separated, and I don't care to. That's their business.

Robin seems to really want to reconcile with his wife, as announced at various performances, and his latest video is very telling.

It features Robin and a girl whom, it could be argued, looks kinda like Paula Patton. Both are naked.

Robin appears sometimes bloodied and sometimes crying, obvious tells of physical and emotional pain. He croons, "I gotta get her, go get her, go get her, go get her back..."

The girl and Robin are separate until he says, "Oh it's so hard, but it doesn't have to be." The girl then appears behind him and wraps her arms around him, stroking his chest and face. 

The video also features a series of text messages, presumably that were sent between him and Paula. You could argue that they are just examples, not copies of actual texts, but the fact that some of them have proper spelling and others don't leads us to believe that they are parts of actual conversations between them. 

Here are the texts, in the order that they appear in the video:

I kept trying to warn you you were pushing me too far...

We had everything

Why Why Why Why Why???

I'm sorry

Can I talk to you?

You drink too much

You embarrassed me

I can't make love to you anymore

I hate myself

Can I come see you?

It's too soon

I wrote a whole album about you

I don't care

I don't even know who you are

I miss u

You ruined everything

How could you do that to me?

you're reckless

I have to go

This is just the beginning

The regular text is from the grey 'received message' bubble.

The bold text is from the white 'sent message' bubble.

From this we can presume that Paula is the grey text, Robin the bold text. Unless Paula wrote a whole album about Robin. 

As well as all this, the video has the girl wearing a bejewelled wire mask, a feather headpiece, a skull mask, and this (at 1min27sec):

It also has many images of the girl (and some of Robin) underwater, what appears to be an actual human heart covered in blood, him playing with his wedding ring, Robin putting a finger gun to his head:

a red liquid of some kind spreading under water, and this (at 3min18sec):

Add all this together and the fact that it's shot in a weird, cold, white wash, leaving room for very little colour, you get a disturbing video.

I felt sick watching it, and by the sounds of things, many, many others also found it more than a tad creepy. Read the YouTube comments, or do a quick Google search if you aren't convinced.

The whole thing is more 'horror film' than 'drama/romance', and just all seems very... sick. The above images are terrifying. The shots of the girl underwater makes it look like she's drowning. And how could I forget the random blank face that appears more than once?!

If it's not Robin or the girl, who is it supposed to be? Jason? Is that you?

The song is supposedly a love ballad. A man apologising to the love of his life for treating her wrong, and trying to convince her to give him another chance.

Yet in the space of 3 minutes and 43 seconds, Robin Thicke manages to take desperation too far and turn it into humiliation, emotional manipulation, and a sick, stalker-ish, disturbing threat.

First of all, if you're trying to get back with your wife, having a naked woman drape herself over you probably isn't the way to go.

Secondly, the text messages, if real, are a gross breach of trust and privacy, and if not, portray Paula as cold, harsh and unforgiving. Either way, they are humiliating. Robin also manages to make himself come off as the 'good guy', apologising and trying to make up. Mostly, anyway.

Thirdly, the levels of emotional manipulation are off the charts here. "I hate myself" and Robin pretending to put a gun to his head i.e. threatening to kill himself, is a common manipulation technique used by one person in the relationship to keep the other person around. It's disgusting.

He's also using the media as a way of pressuring her into making up. It's not just this song, the album is titled Paula for crying out loud! He makes all his appearances about trying to win her back, trying to get the media and the public on his side, so that she looks bad for not playing nice. Despite the fact that she clearly does not want to get back together, instead of respecting her wishes and accepting it like an adult and moving on, he is pressuring her in the most public way possible. Manipulation at its finest.

There is also the side issue of the fact that he is making money off of this.

Lastly, let's talk about the final text message. "This is just the beginning". That's a reasonable threat on its own. Coupled with the violent, disturbing images such as all the underwater shots, the heart, and the various masks, this comes off as quite horrifying. If this is just the beginning, what lengths will you go to Robin? When will you stop?

I do not know why the relationship ended. I don't know what Robin Thicke did to make him feel the need to 'apologise' in such a consistent, public manner. I don't know what the rest of the album is like, or what will happen when it is released.

I do know that the video makes me extremely uncomfortable and that I am not the only one that feels this way. I do know that emotional manipulation is not okay. I do know that there is a whole other layer of creepy embedded in this video.

I really hope for everyone's sake, this isn't "just the beginning."

#YesAllWomen

Many people will have heard by now of the Isla Vista shootings, in which Elliot Rodger took to the campus of the University of California in Santa Barbara, of which he was a student, and killed seven people, including himself, injuring eleven others.

This shocking massacre is a gross example of our culture's inability to deal with mental illness appropriately, the ease with which guns are accessible in the US, and the racist and misogynistic world in which we live.

Misogyny, for those unaware, is the hatred of, mistrust of, and ingrained prejudice against women.

But why is the massacre an example of these things?

First of all, Elliot Rodger was known to the police. He had been reported to them by his family due to disturbing youtube videos he had posted, in which he threatened suicide and violence. However, when visited by police, they said that Elliot was a mild-mannered, shy and sensible young adult. At the same time as this, Elliot had already planned his massacre, as documented in his 141 page manifesto. It can be read here. He even expresses his relief that the police did not search his things, as they would have found his writings and guns. Despite the fact that he had been seeing psychiatrists and counsellors, and that it was his own family that contacted the police, not to mention the disturbing content in his videos, the police took him at his word that it was all a misunderstanding, and left. Of course they couldn't have known that he was going to act on his threats, but they certainly could've made sure that he was actually getting the help he needed.

If you aren't keen on reading the manifesto, the last video he posted before the massacre is still available online. The manifesto documents his whole life as he saw it, the video is but a taste. It is explicit, so tread carefully. You can watch his video here.

Rodger bought all his guns and ammunition legally. A 22-year-old. Why should guns be so easily accessible when this is the kind of pain they can cause?

If you read the manifesto, you'll notice threads of racism coming through, where Elliot talks about Black, Hispanic and Asian men with girlfriends. He argues the fact that because he is half-white, he should be entitled to a girlfriend before the men of other ethnicities. Obviously that is a ridiculous and horrific way of thinking. It is a testament to the fact that white privilege is still a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

What does this have to do with #YesAllWomen?

The #YesAllWomen hashtag surfaced not long after details of the massacre were released. Why? Because it quickly became evident that Elliot Rodger had gone on a killing spree to exact revenge on women, for leaving him to rot in a life of loneliness and rejection. Because he had never been kissed/never had sex/never had a girlfriend.

Don't get me wrong, he hated men too. Men that were in relationships with 'hot tall blonds' and that had received 'the love and pleasure that I deserve'. He hated them because women paid them attention.

But whilst he hated men, women were who he mainly directed his anger at, as is evident in the very first line of his manifesto: "Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women."

If you watched his video above, you will know that the opening line of the manifesto is just a precursor to an incredibly hateful mindset towards women. There are many quotes I could pick out of the video or manifesto to illustrate this, but I think the one below adequately shows just how warped his thinking was.

"I concluded that women are flawed. There is something mentally wrong with the way their brains are wired, as if they haven’t evolved from animal-like thinking. They are incapable of reason or thinking rationally. They are like animals, completely controlled by their primal, depraved emotions and impulses. That is why they are attracted to barbaric, wild, beast-like men. They are beasts themselves. Beasts should not be able to have any rights in a civilized society. If their wickedness is not contained, the whole of humanity will be held back from advancement to a more civilized state. Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence. If women had the freedom to choose which men to mate with, like they do today, they would breed with stupid, degenerate men, which would only produce stupid, degenerate offspring. This in turn would hinder the advancement of humanity. Not only hinder it, but devolve humanity completely. Women are like a plague that must be quarantined. When I came to this brilliant, perfect revelation, I felt like everything was now clear to me, in a bitter, twisted way. I am one of the few people on this world who has the intelligence to see this. I am like a god, and my purpose is to exact ultimate Retribution on all of the impurities I see in the world."

Elliot Rodger felt like he was owed sex. That women had an obligation to fulfil his needs, simply because he wanted them. 

"All while I was suffering this lonely existence, other boys my age lived their
happy lives of pleasure and sex. I can never forgive such an injustice, and it was my bid to
overcompensate for it in the future. I had to make up for all the years I lost in loneliness and isolation,
through no fault of my own! It was society’s fault for rejecting me. It was women’s fault for refusing to
have sex with me."

"I was desperate to have the life I know I deserve; a life of being wanted by attractive girls, a life of sex and love. Other men are able to have such a life… so why not me? I deserve it! I am magnificent, no matter how much the world treated me otherwise. I am destined for great things."

"Females truly have something mentally wrong with them. Their minds are flawed, and at this point in
my life I was beginning to see it. The more I explored my college town of Isla Vista, the more
ridiculousness I witnessed. All of the hot, beautiful girls walked around with obnoxious, tough jock-type men who partied all the time and acted crazy. They should be going for intelligent gentlemen such as myself. Women are sexually attracted to the wrong type of man. This is a major flaw in the very
foundation of humanity. It is completely and utterly wrong, in every sense of the word. As these truths
fully dawned on me, I became deeply disturbed by them. Deeply disturbed, offended, and traumatized."

Rodger was under the impression that because women were not attracted to him, there was something wrong with all women. He whines that women always choose the stupid, brutish men, instead of himself, who is a nice guy.

Hold on, that sounds a lot like men who complain about getting 'friendzoned'.

Elliot Rodger is an example of entitled men in our world today who cannot deal with rejection in a healthy way, instead placing the blame on others. That sort of thinking is misogyny, pure and simple.
'It isn't my fault that women aren't attracted to me. It's women's fault.'

YES. Some women do date guys who are not nice people, who do not treat women with respect, and then they complain about it. But that doesn't mean that said woman would be attracted to 'a good guy' if she wasn't dating the jerk! She has no obligation to be, either.

Elliot Rodger just happened to be one of the few that became violent as a result of his thinking. A violent misogynist; a woman's worst nightmare.

No but seriously, what does this have to do with #YesAllWomen?!

So in the light of the massacre, which originated from misogynistic views, @gildedspine and @anniecardi decided to create the hashtag #YesAllWomen with the intent of highlighting the violence and harassment that women face on a daily basis. 

@gildedspine wrote: "I'm going to be tweeting under the #YesAllWomen hashtag. Let's discuss what 'not all men' might do but woman must fear." 

The 'not all men' in inverted commas is a reference to an earlier trending twitter tag, #NotAllMen.

Tweets quickly came rolling in. 

"Because there is a moment, daily, weekly, monthly, where you're in a situation where you think: "Is today the day I get raped?" #YesAllWomen"

"Because I get in an elevator with a guy and think "what's my escape plan going to be?" #YesAllWomen"

"#YesAllWomen because too many of us were brought up to believe that "What were you wearing?" is a reasonable question."

The above are just a few out of over a million, and the tag is still generating tweets, on its third day.
That goes to show the sheer number of women who have been personally affected by inequality. Of course, these tweets do not include the women who do not use twitter, who are too scared to speak up, because of the fear of backlash, or who cannot speak up, be it due to censorship, lack of technology, or because they aren't even aware that they are being treated unfairly.

Surely if a hashtag generates that much of a response, there must be a legitimate problem?
Of course there is! Women are still treated unequally, for no reason other than they are women.
Many men have acknowledged this, which is great! They say: "We agree that women should be equal. There is a flaw in society, and we know that men have a role to play in it. It's time that we opened our eyes." This provides hope that one day men and women may truly live in equality.

Yet, the overwhelming cry of women going: "I have been and am regularly treated as less because of my gender and I am not okay with it!" is being stifled by the cry of: "#NotAllMen! Not all men are responsible for this treatment of women! Stop generalizing! Women treat all men the same! #YesAllMen #YesAllPEOPLE".

This view is being taken by men and women alike, which is completely missing the point of the campaign.

#YesAllWomen is not a vessel to hate on men. It is not an attempt to downplay the fact that men are subject to sexism too. It is not trying to hide the fact that men get raped and abused or to say that it is worse when it happens to a woman.

#YesAllWomen is about the fact that all women live in fear. Fear of walking alone in public. Fear of being too outspoken. Fear of refusing a man sex. Fear of not being taken seriously. Fear of oppression.

But but but...

I'm not trying to say that all misogynists are going to go on a massacre because they believe that they have a right to women's bodies. Elliot Rodger's actions were not solely a result of misogyny, as it is very clear that he suffered from mental illness.

But it is worth noting that all around the world, every day, women are raped and murdered, or killed as a result of domestic abuse. These occurrences are so common that the news barely ever reports them any more.

I'm not trying to say that all men are rapists and sexist pigs who don't respect women. I know that not all men are like that. Most women know that (note I said most, not all. There should be no generalisations either way).

But that doesn't change the fact that when walking home through the park when it is still light I am still scared of the man walking behind me. That I carry my keys in my hand, just in case.

I am not saying that men do not suffer from sexism.

But if I say that I am tired of dealing with sexism from men, as soon as a man says:
"Hey, it's not all men that are sexist. And men have to deal with sexism from women too,"
my opinion is immediately undermined and invalidated.
Because then the issue is all about men, and what they suffer. It puts the sexism that men and women have to deal with on the same level, which is an inaccurate way of looking at things.

Women had to fight for the vote.
Women had to fight for education.
Women had to fight to have a career.

Men received all these things simply because they are men. That's a fact.

I could make an extensive list of basic human rights that women are still fighting for. Such as equal pay. Or not being groped by strangers.

I posted many of the #YesAllWomen tweets on Facebook because as a young woman, who sees and experiences sexism on a regular basis, I felt the need to educate.
I felt the need to educate others on the reality of the sexism women face daily, and the fear that women are living in because of it. Because so many people do not know or understand what women have to deal with. Again, I am not saying that men do not have to deal with sexism too. But there seems to be a common myth that men have it as hard as women in this world.

If you want to check any of the posts out, I made them public on my Facebook profile.

Many of the responses I received to my posts argued something completely different to the point I was trying to get across.
Some accused women of generalising men.
As soon as the word 'feminist' was mentioned, it was suggested that while some outspoken feminists are searching for equality, it seems as if a desire for supremacy (used loosely) may be more the case.

People took things personally, and one person pointed out that if they had made similar posts but about women, they would be labelled a sexist. The thing that they and the fifteen people who liked the comment failed to understand, is that if you were to reverse the posts and made them about women, you would be sexist. Because (for the third time) whilst men suffer from sexism as well, they are not the ones fighting for equal rights. Women are fighting to be seen as equal to men, not the other way around. So for a man to make comments about how all men have to live in fear of women (not all the women though!), that's a flat-out lie.

Because that's what #YesAllWomen is about. Raising awareness about the fact that all women are living in fear.  

So men, please! Stop making this about you! Women are not trying to take away your rights, or achieve world domination. They are not trying to undermine your totally righteous outrage at the sexism you suffer. There is no sarcasm in that statement, you suffer from sexism too, and it's not okay.

But stop trying to defend yourselves and absolve yourselves from blame against every single post. We know it's not every man. It's not a personal attack on you.

Instead, stop and listen to the cry of millions of women around the world that they have had enough.

Because the fact remains that when women report a rape, they are still asked what they were wearing.

And the fact remains, than when a misogynistic, mentally ill young man goes on a killing spree because he is a virgin and women reject him, as if he has a right to their bodies simply because he is a man, he is actually supported by members of the public. As if women were actually to blame for the massacre committed by a madman.

The fact remains that 'feminism' is viewed with contempt, but people don't even know what 'misogyny' is. 

But I still think...

This post really only touches the tip of the iceberg. To be honest, we could argue and debate back and forth over this topic until the end of time. But you know what? That won't change anything.

Frankly, I do not have the time or energy to sit around defending my argument.

I am a feminist. I do not hate men. I am tired of living in fear, and seeing women around me living in fear.

It's time for change, and I am willing to be that change.

If you agree with what I have to say, great. Check this out for another point of view. If what I've said angers you, even better.

Why?

"The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem

Caitlin Moran and the Sherlock Fiasco

Okay, so I have a bit of a rant to post. I apologize for the length, but I feel incredibly strongly about this!   

I am a Sherlockian. A fangirl. I am completely and utterly obsessed with the BBC's Sherlock and honestly, I don't care who knows it. Sherlock made me fall in love with film all over again. The writing, the acting, and the technical side, I find, are absolutely superior. The calibre of the show is way above anything I've ever seen, and I just really, truly, love it.

And the fandom. Oh, the fandom. So full of dedication and creativity and just absolute love for the show, the actors, the writers, and anyone who has anything to do with it, is just above and beyond.
Sometimes, there are people who ruin it, as with anything. And that sucks. But there are always those that rise far above it, and who give so much to the fandom, and they are the reason I stick around.

Yes, part of the fandom is the fanfiction. Fanfiction is nothing new. Gay fanfiction is nothing new. People were writing Kirk/Spock fanfiction for Star Trek decades ago, and yet I've never seen actors have fanfiction as forced upon them as the cast of Sherlock. Now, I've read my fair share of Sherlock fanfiction, and yes, some of it is incredibly weird, smutty, or as far removed from the show as you can get. But who cares? It's fanfiction. The point is that you can write whatever you want! If we're going to be totally pedantic, we can say that Sherlock itself is fanfiction. Seriously, it's a modern-day Holmes AU (alternate universe) complete with new characters and altered cases and everything! The only difference is that it has been made into a TV show. Yet journalists and interviewers alike think that the most amusing thing ever is to show the cast (namely Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman) fanfiction and fanart to make them squirm and laugh awkwardly (Graham Norton I'm looking at you).

Today it really all came to a head.

Today was a big day for the Sherlock fandom. Not all of us directly, but it was the premiere of Season 3 Episode 1: The Empty Hearse at the BFI, which is pretty exciting, since it's been almost two years since Season 2! The episode is set to air on BBCOne on the 1st of January 2014 at 9pm in the UK, and the 19th of January on PBS Masterpiece in the US. So it's coming up pretty soon after a very long wait, and as you can imagine, those who follow the show are rather excited. The premiere today, though only open to a select few, is sort of the sign that it is all finally happening. After the showing, there was a Q&A session with Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss, Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Sue Vertue, and Jeremy Lovering, the new director. Caitlin Moran was the one doing the interviewing. This is where problems arise.

Up until now, I've never had a problem with Caitlin Moran. I've read some of her work before, and she did write a wonderful interview with Benedict for The Times, but what she did today was unacceptable. But what did she do?! You're probably screaming at me at this point. What she did, was get Benedict and Martin to read John/Sherlock fanfiction out loud- which she assured them was clean but of course, wasn't -making them, and everyone else on the panel incredibly uncomfortable, humiliating the lovely writer of said fanfiction, especially when she calls it 'clumsily written', and just generally putting a dampener on the whole occasion!

For those of you who are curious, here's the link to the video of the whole debacle. There are no spoilers for the actual episode, I wouldn't be that cruel! You can see Benedict's and Martin's very polite but disgruntled reactions to what they are reading- rightly so too. I can't imagine it is particularly comfortable reading a steamy love scene between you and a close friend out loud to press, friends and fans alike!

Moran tries to cover it by saying, "It was so much better in my head!", but the damage is already done. Benedict does give her a very polite but clear telling off, firstly asking, "Is there a punchline? Is there something you wanted to say after we read this? Are we ruining the joke?", to which she replies, "No, this was the great bit!". It seems pretty clear that he did not find it particularly funny. He then continues on to say, "It's just the point- fans can do what they like, but there's a point, we do what we do with it and that's the fun we have with our fiction of it- is to point out that that is ludicrous in our universe of its storytelling. So, sorry to be all 'nyeghhh' about it but..."
Moran does graciously apologize, "It was an inappropriate thing to do, I abused my power and I'm very sorry," before quickly moving on.

And yeah, I get it. She made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But why she thought it was a good idea in the first place is beyond me. Benedict had a very valid point in what he said. It is ludicrous in their universe. Fanfiction has absolutely no bearing on the show, and there was no need to bring it up, let alone have them read some out. The point of the premiere was to celebrate Season 3 and the fact that it is finally airing; to celebrate all the hard work that they had put in! It did not have to be another opportunity to make the fandom look creepy, or obsessed with John and Sherlock as a couple.

Quite frankly, the fandom often gets portrayed as deranged (for want of a better word) or laughed at, which is rather unfair. Yes, we are very enthusiastic about Sherlock, but why would you want to discourage that? Without fans, the show wouldn't be successful, harsh but true. Also, often overlooked is all the good that the fandom does! Things like raising thousands of dollars for charity, or uniting people all across the world because they share a common interest. The disdain they receive is becoming very old, very quickly.

This leads me to a point about the author of the fanfiction. Caitlin Moran did not ask her permission to use it, and frankly, just humiliated her in front of the entire fandom and anyone else who watches the video. Because as well as saying it is 'clumsily written', she also says that the piece itself was 'the great bit', that it's the punchline, particularly poking fun at the last line. What right does she have to pick a random piece of fanfiction off the internet, and use it for the pure purpose of mocking it? She's a writer, surely she would know what it's like to have people critiquing your work, and what is constructive and what isn't? Just because it's fanfiction does not make it lesser. Here's the response the author of the fanfiction. Short and sweet, it's appropriately indignant without being rude.

Unfortunately from what I've heard, on top of all this, Caitlin Moran made some other mistakes in that interview, including repeatedly pointing out a mistake the director made (I don't know what this is as I am avoiding spoilers), asking about Martin casting his wife (which is totally not true, we know the part of Mary Morstan was written for Amanda Abbington, and she has received enough hate about her part without Moran making jibes) and generally being rude and not asking questions relevant to the premiere. Ultimately, it sounds like Moran had little clue of what she was doing, had poorly prepared, and for some reason thought that mocking the show and the fans would pass as humor among those who are heavily invested in the show.

Humiliation is not okay. Mocking a fandom and disparaging the works that come out of their enthusiasm for the show is not okay. I hope Caitlin Moran has learnt a valuable lesson today- people will fiercely protect that which they love. Don't you dare think that what you did was acceptable. It was unnecessary, hurtful, and incredibly rude. I hope that you never have anything to do with Sherlock again and that you get a thorough reprimand from the BBC. We are Sherlockians. Don't mess with us.

Holiday Guilt

It's that time of year again... Summer holidays!
Mine have come around much earlier than usual this year because uni finishes so much earlier than high school, and it is glorious. But whilst I am enjoying my newfound freedom (did you guys know it's possible to get more than 6 hours sleep in a night?), I am also racked with this unusual sensation of holiday guilt. 

This year has been a good one. Being my first year of uni, it was all very exciting, what with the promise of the future and education and all that uni brings. I can now confirm it has been eye-opening (in more ways than one), I've worked hard (apart from those times I didn't), and gotten good marks (most recent exam results pending). But for all but a short break between semesters, it's pretty much been non-stop work! Of course this was expected, I was under no illusions that university would be free sailing. However, now that it's over for the year I find myself faced with my biggest decision yet: what do I do with my spare time?! 

The morning after my last exam I woke up and immediately had the sense of 'you should be doing something constructive'. However, that was just left over anxiety from exams and the guilt of not studying. It wore off quite fast, especially as the rest of the week came around and I actually went out and was social (shocking!). Now I am facing my first week of no expectations or commitments, and I don't know where to begin! I finally have the opportunity to watch all those tv shows and movies, to write that novel, to actually finish one of my drawings or that scarf I started knitting, to read the entire Game of Thrones series that has been sitting in my room all year, or to actually deal with all the clutter that covers my room and sits in the back of my closet, and I simply don't have the desire to. What is wrong with me?! They sure were sufficient distractions when I was supposed to be studying. The last thing I want is to spend my summer mucking about and not doing anything useful with my time. Which leads me to an even bigger question: what should I actually be doing with my time? As much as I would love to just laze about all day and do all those things listed above, I feel as though almost four months of it would be just a little bit greedy. As a result, I end up thinking:

• I should have enrolled in summer school (to get just one step closer to my degree) 
• Or maybe I should get a second job (my student allowance payments end on Tuesday and Christmas is coming up fast, plus I'd really like a new laptop before we start back)
• How many extra shifts am I willing to take on? How many before I go mad?
• How tan can I get before I burn?
• At what stage should I start doing some Spanish study to ensure I don't forget everything I've learnt before next year?
• Seriously, WHEN IS SEASON 3 OF SHERLOCK COMING OUT

It does not help when people constantly ask what you are doing with your summer. Answering "not a lot" is only acceptable for so long. Thus, holiday guilt. I know I am on holiday and therefore am allowed to relax, but to what extent should I be working towards something more... accomplished? Ultimately, I suppose it all comes down to that age old question: how do I find that balance? It seems that may be an appropriate goal for summer: finding my balance.

I know for this week at least, I will be kicking back and enjoying my free time, as well as getting some serious planning done. I refuse to let summer pass me by! Hopefully I can reread this post at the end of it on my new laptop, with an impressive tan and a sizable sum in my bank account, as well as some awesome memories. I'm sure whatever happens, you'll hear about it here!

Evie xx

Cory Monteith: Death and Re-Evaluation

I swore I was never going to watch the Cory Monteith memorial episode. I didn’t think I could handle it.

Well, I just did. And yes, I cried solidly for the 44 minutes. 

I haven’t watched Glee in forever, but when it started, I loved it. I never thought Finn was the most attractive character, but I’m fairly sure I loved him the most. His death hit me in a way that I found quite unexpected- it's not like I knew him personally. I'd only ever seen him in Glee. But it rocked me, that such a talented, young, guy, that I guess I felt some connection to through my love of the show, could die so suddenly. And he was so loved. Watching ‘The Quarterback’, it really hit me how all those tears would have been genuine. And it really makes you have a good solid think about life and what you’re doing with it. 

My whole life I’ve been relatively sheltered from death. I never had any friends or family members die, the worst I ever experienced were my pet fish and bird. Then, almost 2 years ago now, a girl from my school- that I knew relatively well- committed suicide. She was 14, and I was in shock for a few hours after I found out. I cried. I went to her memorial at school, and I cried some more. Even now, whenever I hear ‘Paradise’ by Coldplay, I pause and remember her, and a tear will come to my eye. Rest In Peace Ceri, precious girl. 

This year, about 2 months ago, a lady that I used to babysit for died in a car crash. I had not seen her for a while, but I babysat once or twice a week for her every week for the better part of a year. Her boys are 6, and 10 (I think). I went to her funeral, and cried really hard. Knowing the family was hard, especially since for a while I had been part of their routine. She was turning 40 next month. Still so, so young. RIP Tracy. You will always be missed.

But both these deaths were somewhat removed from me. While I knew both people, I was not especially close with either of them.

Then, a few weeks ago, I got a text from one of my best friend’s mum, telling me that said best friend had been in a bad car crash. Her car was written off, and she’d broken her collarbone badly. One of her arms is immobilized for 6-8 weeks. I cried for an hour, just so incredibly thankful she was alive. Because she so easily could not have been, and that thought terrified me to my core. She is one of my oldest and closest friends, who, even though we don’t see each other very often, when we do, it’s like no time has passed. She’s a lifelong friend, one you know you’ll have forever. 

And that definitely made me re-evaluate my life. Because all it takes is a second to lose someone. What am I doing with the time I have with the people I love? What am I doing with my life? And never have I been hit as hard with this before:

Life is short. Too short to care what others think, to be afraid, to do what you hate. 

Watching the Glee episode made all this come back. I’ll never forget where I was when I heard about Cory’s death. It is truly tragic, and something that, along with Ceri, and Tracy’s deaths, will always serve as a reminder to me to not let life pass me by. 

What are you doing with your line?

The Emotional Journey of BBC's Sherlock.

Yes I am back again. I said I would expand more on Sherlock in the future, and what kind of person would I be if I didn't? Please don't think less of me after reading this, but I will give you fair warning that I may come off sounding a little crazy...

So. Sherlock. As I said in my last post, it is a BBC drama created by Steven Moffat (writer and producer of Doctor Who) and Mark Gatiss (who plays Mycroft Holmes). So far there are two seasons, each with three episodes. Each episode is 90 minutes long.

Now, I like to culture myself. In the short 18 years of my life, I like to think that I have read a lot of books, and watched a lot of movies and t.v. shows. I've had obsessions before. I remember finishing Eldest, the second book in the Inheritance Cycle (aka Eragon) by Christopher Paolini. I adored it, and the wait for Brisingr seemed to stretch on forever. Don't even get me started on Inheritance. Likewise, when I first started reading Harry Potter at fourteen, I dived headfirst into that fandom and am yet to surface. How I Met Your Mother and Castle were also met with much enthusiasm, I think I finished all four and a half seasons of Castle within 3 weeks. Clearly you can see I get attached to good stories.

But Sherlock has far surpassed any past obsessions. I cannot see any faults with it. The writing, the acting, the set, the soundtrack, all of it comes together to create something that can only be described as art.

I know that not everyone feels this way. I watched the first four episodes with my fifteen-year-old sister, but after that, she really didn't care. One of my best friends also watched all the episodes, and although she enjoyed them, she's not nearly as crazy about the show as I am. Maybe it is because, having taken drama all through high school, I can truly appreciate great acting. Or, because I love to write, especially scripts, I know the minds of creative geniuses when I see them. Who knows? Art is subjective to tastes and everyone's own perception of beauty. I guess this show just ticked all the right boxes for me.

Aside from that, I think it should be hard for anyone to deny the intelligence behind the stories. Yes, they are based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original Sherlock Holmes stories, but Moffat and Gatiss are the ones behind the script. Each episode made me awe at the cleverness behind the crimes and Sherlock's deductions, laugh at the fabulous comedic timing, grow to know and love each character and all their individual quirks, sob at some of the more emotional moments and just generally appreciate all the little things worked into the script.

There is so much depth to everything that happens, I can spend hours just picking each moment apart. Character development and relationships (especially Sherlock and John) are fascinating to watch unfold, and are spread out along the episodes so you never get too much. There are some really profound moments, especially whenever Sherlock lets some of his human side show. I do not want to get into details because there are just far too many, and I do not want to spoil the show if you haven't seen it.

However, it's not just the writers and creators to thank for the show's genius, but the actors too. Benedict Cumberbatch has Sherlock down pat. I will never be able to imagine Sherlock Holmes another way. He owns the character of the sociopath, right down to the sarcasm, arrogance and coldness, but also the innocence, naïvety, and childish nature of Sherlock. He's captured him perfectly, and let's not even mention the cheekbones.

Martin Freeman is the perfect match for Benedict. Moffat and Gatiss have said that Benedict became more of a Sherlock when Martin started playing Dr. John Watson, and they couldn't see anyone else taking the part. It is obvious as soon as you start watching that Martin and Benedict have great chemistry, as it really comes through in Sherlock and John's friendship. Martin gives the perfect balance of strength and charm to John, and you can sympathize with his confusion and frustration every time Sherlock goes off track.

Aside from these two, all the other characters are also fantastically portrayed. Mark Gatiss is a brilliantly cold Mycroft, Rupert Graves a loveable Detective Inspector Lestrade, Una Stubbs an absolutely darling Mrs Hudson, Louise Brealey an adorable Molly Hooper, and Andrew Scott an incredible Jim Moriarty. He is the epitome of terrifying, and it is obvious why he won a BAFTA.

Of course, everything has it's bad points. Sherlock's seems to be purely the waiting time. I am very lucky, because I only recently hopped on the bandwagon. I cannot imagine how those who have been with the show from the beginning feel.
Season 1 was released in 2010, Season 2 in 2012. Season 3 is currently being filmed, and is due for release at the end of the year. Unfortunately, as the fanbase has grown bigger, many more people have turned up to filming, and some spoilers have gotten out. The internet has been a dangerous place for those who wanted to avoid them, although after several messages from the creators about respecting the story and the actors (the crowds could be very distracting while filming), the 'setlock' hype has calmed down somewhat. There is currently only five more days of filming (Season 3, Episode 2) before they take a break. Episode 3 will be filmed in August.

So it is a horribly long wait before the adventure resumes and we can finally deal with the horrific cliffhanger of Season 2. And there are many, many questions to be answered.

Well, that is my brief overview of Sherlock. And yes, I say brief, because there is so much that I have not addressed! In short, go watch it. It is well suited for just about everyone, and it's only getting bigger and better as time goes on. I promise, you will not be disappointed.

"I'm a consulting detective. Only one in the world."

Evie xx

Another post?!

So I know I said I would write more often, but this is me we're talking about, of course it hasn't happened. But I am currently procrastinating drying dishes and getting ready for work, so blog time it is!

Much has happened since my last post, which was two months ago now (I'm getting better!). I've said a lot of goodbyes to a lot of special people as my friends have gone off to other parts of the countries (and other countries) for the next stage in their lives. It's been sad to see them go, however I know that I'll see them soon enough (mid-semester break woop!) and that I can talk to them pretty much whenever so it's all good. We're a tight bunch, our friendships won't dissolve that easily!

ANYWAY moving on to more exciting things, I finally turned 18- HOORAY! -which means I can do cool things like buy scratchies and get married and stuff. It also means stupid things like more expensive bus fare and paying board but hey, you win some you lose some...

I have also officially started at the University of Canterbury which is muy cool and incredibly busy. Sometimes I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to attend all my lectures, tutorials, do readings, assignments, essays, homework, plus sleep, eat and be a helpful member of my household, but I'm managing okay so far (ask me how I'm doing in a couple weeks). In case you are wondering, history and classics are my majors, and I am also taking spanish and linguistics. I am LOVING it. My courses are super interesting and I'm learning heaps, although it does hurt my brain sometimes and I'm always hungry.

BUT I've already managed to procure two A+s in Spanish (YAY!), and have done 4 other tests across my other subjects, but I'm still waiting for those results. Although I was super clever and missed my first linguistics quiz. All our quizzes are done online, and for some reason I had thought the cutoff was 9pm... it wasn't. After my unfortunate discovery that it was 9am, I emailed my lecturer explaining my short comings and 'was there any chance I could still sit it?'. She was gracious enough to extend the deadline to 9pm, but unfortunately I missed her email and therefore the second deadline. I was kicking myself, but at least I've learnt that lesson! It was only worth 5%, so it could've been worse!

Outside of the work, uni life is great (apart from being poor)! I love the freedom, and being able to be home during the day. Motivation (as always) is proving a little hard, but I've only missed one optional tutorial so far, so it hasn't been bad. It is definitely a step into the adult world!

Not much else has been happening, uni has pretty much taken over my life at the moment. Although I have developed a new passion... SHERLOCK.
If you are already thoroughly confused, first of all, "Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!" and secondly, I am about to educate you, so keep reading.

Sherlock is a BBC drama featuring the incredible acting talents of Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Holmes) and Martin Freeman (John Watson). It's special in the way that it is less of a tv show, and more of a mini series. So far there are only two seasons, and each season only has 3 episodes. This sounds really horrible until you realise each episode is an hour and a half long. The stories are based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's works, and they are truly amazing. Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat, the creators and writers are the most fabulously evil men ever to walk the earth. I was addicted after the first 15 minutes. I have never loved any movie/show as much as Sherlock, and am dying (along with the rest of the fandom) whilst waiting for season 3. I'm sure I will expand more on this topic in the future, but currently I MUST go get ready for work.

In the meantime: http://streamallthis.ch/watch/sherlock/
There's the link. Watch them. I hope you become as thoroughly addicted to it as I am.

Evie xx