I am not a fan of Robin Thicke.
Blurred Lines was catchy, yes. Far, far too catchy. I think the catchiness is what made many people overlook the actual content of the lyrics, lyrics which essentially, are about the blurred lines of consent.
As it made its way into mainstream media, everyone seemed to have it stuck in their head. I know I did!
Once I realised what it was all about, I hated every second of "I know you want it" going round my head. But I think the worst thing for me was hearing my younger siblings singing it. My 15-year-old sister never really did, but my 12-year-old sister? My 8-year-old brother? Singing a song that validates rape culture? Disturbing to say the least.
It teaches my sister that her "no" isn't enough, that men are entitled to her body because they think so, and that it's okay for her to be treated like this. It teaches my brother, at 8-years-old that he doesn't have to have explicit, enthusiastic consent from a woman. That as long as he "knows she wants it", it's okay to take.
That's beyond messed up.
But anyway, while I could pick apart the lyrics (and don't even get me started on the video), I'm not actually here to talk about Blurred Lines today.
Instead I want to talk about Mr Thicke's latest creation, Get Her Back.
The song is from his latest album, Paula, set to be released within the next couple of weeks.
Now, I don't know anything about the relationship between Robin Thicke and Paula Patton other than they were apparently childhood sweethearts, together for 22 years and married for 9, before announcing their separation in February this year.
I don't know why they separated, and I don't care to. That's their business.
Robin seems to really want to reconcile with his wife, as announced at various performances, and his latest video is very telling.
It features Robin and a girl whom, it could be argued, looks kinda like Paula Patton. Both are naked.
Robin appears sometimes bloodied and sometimes crying, obvious tells of physical and emotional pain. He croons, "I gotta get her, go get her, go get her, go get her back..."
The girl and Robin are separate until he says, "Oh it's so hard, but it doesn't have to be." The girl then appears behind him and wraps her arms around him, stroking his chest and face.
The video also features a series of text messages, presumably that were sent between him and Paula. You could argue that they are just examples, not copies of actual texts, but the fact that some of them have proper spelling and others don't leads us to believe that they are parts of actual conversations between them.
Here are the texts, in the order that they appear in the video:
I kept trying to warn you you were pushing me too far...
We had everything
Why Why Why Why Why???
I'm sorry
Can I talk to you?
You drink too much
You embarrassed me
I can't make love to you anymore
I hate myself
Can I come see you?
It's too soon
I wrote a whole album about you
I don't care
I don't even know who you are
I miss u
You ruined everything
How could you do that to me?
you're reckless
I have to go
This is just the beginning
The regular text is from the grey 'received message' bubble.
The bold text is from the white 'sent message' bubble.
From this we can presume that Paula is the grey text, Robin the bold text. Unless Paula wrote a whole album about Robin.
As well as all this, the video has the girl wearing a bejewelled wire mask, a feather headpiece, a skull mask, and this (at 1min27sec):
It also has many images of the girl (and some of Robin) underwater, what appears to be an actual human heart covered in blood, him playing with his wedding ring, Robin putting a finger gun to his head:
a red liquid of some kind spreading under water, and this (at 3min18sec):
Add all this together and the fact that it's shot in a weird, cold, white wash, leaving room for very little colour, you get a disturbing video.
I felt sick watching it, and by the sounds of things, many, many others also found it more than a tad creepy. Read the YouTube comments, or do a quick Google search if you aren't convinced.
The whole thing is more 'horror film' than 'drama/romance', and just all seems very... sick. The above images are terrifying. The shots of the girl underwater makes it look like she's drowning. And how could I forget the random blank face that appears more than once?!
If it's not Robin or the girl, who is it supposed to be? Jason? Is that you?
The song is supposedly a love ballad. A man apologising to the love of his life for treating her wrong, and trying to convince her to give him another chance.
Yet in the space of 3 minutes and 43 seconds, Robin Thicke manages to take desperation too far and turn it into humiliation, emotional manipulation, and a sick, stalker-ish, disturbing threat.
First of all, if you're trying to get back with your wife, having a naked woman drape herself over you probably isn't the way to go.
Secondly, the text messages, if real, are a gross breach of trust and privacy, and if not, portray Paula as cold, harsh and unforgiving. Either way, they are humiliating. Robin also manages to make himself come off as the 'good guy', apologising and trying to make up. Mostly, anyway.
Thirdly, the levels of emotional manipulation are off the charts here. "I hate myself" and Robin pretending to put a gun to his head i.e. threatening to kill himself, is a common manipulation technique used by one person in the relationship to keep the other person around. It's disgusting.
He's also using the media as a way of pressuring her into making up. It's not just this song, the album is titled Paula for crying out loud! He makes all his appearances about trying to win her back, trying to get the media and the public on his side, so that she looks bad for not playing nice. Despite the fact that she clearly does not want to get back together, instead of respecting her wishes and accepting it like an adult and moving on, he is pressuring her in the most public way possible. Manipulation at its finest.
There is also the side issue of the fact that he is making money off of this.
Lastly, let's talk about the final text message. "This is just the beginning". That's a reasonable threat on its own. Coupled with the violent, disturbing images such as all the underwater shots, the heart, and the various masks, this comes off as quite horrifying. If this is just the beginning, what lengths will you go to Robin? When will you stop?
I do not know why the relationship ended. I don't know what Robin Thicke did to make him feel the need to 'apologise' in such a consistent, public manner. I don't know what the rest of the album is like, or what will happen when it is released.
I do know that the video makes me extremely uncomfortable and that I am not the only one that feels this way. I do know that emotional manipulation is not okay. I do know that there is a whole other layer of creepy embedded in this video.
I really hope for everyone's sake, this isn't "just the beginning."
