Many people will have heard by now of the Isla Vista shootings, in which Elliot Rodger took to the campus of the University of California in Santa Barbara, of which he was a student, and killed seven people, including himself, injuring eleven others.
This shocking massacre is a gross example of our culture's inability to deal with mental illness appropriately, the ease with which guns are accessible in the US, and the racist and misogynistic world in which we live.
Misogyny, for those unaware, is the hatred of, mistrust of, and ingrained prejudice against women.
But why is the massacre an example of these things?
First of all, Elliot Rodger was known to the police. He had been reported to them by his family due to disturbing youtube videos he had posted, in which he threatened suicide and violence. However, when visited by police, they said that Elliot was a mild-mannered, shy and sensible young adult. At the same time as this, Elliot had already planned his massacre, as documented in his 141 page manifesto. It can be read
here. He even expresses his relief that the police did not search his things, as they would have found his writings and guns. Despite the fact that he had been seeing psychiatrists and counsellors, and that it was his own
family that contacted the police, not to mention the disturbing content in his videos, the police took him at his word that it was all a misunderstanding, and left. Of course they couldn't have known that he was going to act on his threats, but they certainly could've made sure that he was actually getting the help he needed.
If you aren't keen on reading the manifesto, the last video he posted before the massacre is still available online. The manifesto documents his whole life as he saw it, the video is but a taste. It is explicit, so tread carefully.
You can watch his video here.
Rodger bought all his guns and ammunition legally. A 22-year-old. Why should guns be so easily accessible when this is the kind of pain they can cause?
If you read the manifesto, you'll notice threads of racism coming through, where Elliot talks about Black, Hispanic and Asian men with girlfriends. He argues the fact that because he is half-white, he should be entitled to a girlfriend before the men of other ethnicities. Obviously that is a ridiculous and horrific way of thinking. It is a testament to the fact that white privilege is still a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
What does this have to do with #YesAllWomen?
The #YesAllWomen hashtag surfaced not long after details of the massacre were released. Why? Because it quickly became evident that Elliot Rodger had gone on a killing spree to exact revenge on women, for leaving him to rot in a life of loneliness and rejection. Because he had never been kissed/never had sex/never had a girlfriend.
Don't get me wrong, he hated men too. Men that were in relationships with 'hot tall blonds' and that had received 'the love and pleasure that I deserve'. He hated them because women paid them attention.
But whilst he hated men, women were who he mainly directed his anger at, as is evident in the very first line of his manifesto: "Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women."
If you watched his video above, you will know that the opening line of the manifesto is just a precursor to an incredibly hateful mindset towards women. There are many quotes I could pick out of the video or manifesto to illustrate this, but I think the one below adequately shows just how warped his thinking was.
"I concluded that women are flawed. There is something mentally wrong with the way their brains are wired, as if they haven’t evolved from animal-like thinking. They are incapable of reason or thinking rationally. They are like animals, completely controlled by their primal, depraved emotions and impulses. That is why they are attracted to barbaric, wild, beast-like men. They are beasts themselves. Beasts should not be able to have any rights in a civilized society. If their wickedness is not contained, the whole of humanity will be held back from advancement to a more civilized state. Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence. If women had the freedom to choose which men to mate with, like they do today, they would breed with stupid, degenerate men, which would only produce stupid, degenerate offspring. This in turn would hinder the advancement of humanity. Not only hinder it, but devolve humanity completely. Women are like a plague that must be quarantined. When I came to this brilliant, perfect revelation, I felt like everything was now clear to me, in a bitter, twisted way. I am one of the few people on this world who has the intelligence to see this. I am like a god, and my purpose is to exact ultimate Retribution on all of the impurities I see in the world."
Elliot Rodger felt like he was owed sex. That women had an obligation to fulfil his needs, simply because he wanted them.
"All while I was suffering this lonely existence, other boys my age lived their
happy lives of pleasure and sex. I can never forgive such an injustice, and it was my bid to
overcompensate for it in the future. I had to make up for all the years I lost in loneliness and isolation,
through no fault of my own! It was society’s fault for rejecting me. It was women’s fault for refusing to
have sex with me."
"I was desperate to have the life I know I deserve; a life of being wanted by attractive girls, a life of sex and love. Other men are able to have such a life… so why not me? I deserve it! I am magnificent, no matter how much the world treated me otherwise. I am destined for great things."
"Females truly have something mentally wrong with them. Their minds are flawed, and at this point in
my life I was beginning to see it. The more I explored my college town of Isla Vista, the more
ridiculousness I witnessed. All of the hot, beautiful girls walked around with obnoxious, tough jock-type men who partied all the time and acted crazy. They should be going for intelligent gentlemen such as myself. Women are sexually attracted to the wrong type of man. This is a major flaw in the very
foundation of humanity. It is completely and utterly wrong, in every sense of the word. As these truths
fully dawned on me, I became deeply disturbed by them. Deeply disturbed, offended, and traumatized."
Rodger was under the impression that because women were not attracted to him, there was something wrong with all women. He whines that women always choose the stupid, brutish men, instead of himself, who is a nice guy.
Hold on, that sounds a
lot like men who complain about getting 'friendzoned'.
Elliot Rodger is an example of entitled men in our world today who cannot deal with rejection in a healthy way, instead placing the blame on others. That sort of thinking is misogyny, pure and simple.
'It isn't my fault that women aren't attracted to me. It's women's fault.'
YES. Some women do date guys who are not nice people, who do not treat women with respect, and then they complain about it. But that doesn't mean that said woman would be attracted to 'a good guy' if she wasn't dating the jerk! She has no obligation to be, either.
Elliot Rodger just happened to be one of the few that became violent as a result of his thinking. A violent misogynist; a woman's worst nightmare.
No but seriously, what does this have to do with #YesAllWomen?!
So in the light of the massacre, which originated from misogynistic views, @gildedspine and @anniecardi decided to create the hashtag #YesAllWomen with the intent of highlighting the violence and harassment that women face on a daily basis.
@gildedspine wrote: "I'm going to be tweeting under the #YesAllWomen hashtag. Let's discuss what 'not all men' might do but woman must fear."
The 'not all men' in inverted commas is a reference to an earlier trending twitter tag, #NotAllMen.
Tweets quickly came rolling in.
"Because there is a moment, daily, weekly, monthly, where you're in a situation where you think: "Is today the day I get raped?" #YesAllWomen"
"Because I get in an elevator with a guy and think "what's my escape plan going to be?" #YesAllWomen"
"#YesAllWomen because too many of us were brought up to believe that "What were you wearing?" is a reasonable question."
The above are just a few out of over a million, and the tag is
still generating tweets, on its third day.
That goes to show the sheer number of women who have been personally affected by inequality. Of course, these tweets do not include the women who do not use twitter, who are too scared to speak up, because of the fear of backlash, or who
cannot speak up, be it due to censorship, lack of technology, or because they aren't even aware that they are being treated unfairly.
Surely if a
hashtag generates that much of a response, there must be a legitimate problem?
Of course there is! Women are still treated unequally, for no reason other than they are women.
Many men have acknowledged this, which is great! They say: "We agree that women should be equal. There is a flaw in society, and we know that men have a role to play in it. It's time that we opened our eyes." This provides hope that one day men and women may truly live in equality.
Yet, the overwhelming cry of women going: "I have been and am regularly treated as less because of my gender and I am not okay with it!" is being stifled by the cry of: "#NotAllMen! Not all men are responsible for this treatment of women! Stop generalizing! Women treat all men the same! #YesAllMen #YesAllPEOPLE".
This view is being taken by men and women alike, which is completely missing the point of the campaign.
#YesAllWomen is not a vessel to hate on men. It is not an attempt to downplay the fact that men are subject to sexism too. It is not trying to hide the fact that men get raped and abused or to say that it is worse when it happens to a woman.
#YesAllWomen is about the fact that all women live in fear. Fear of walking alone in public. Fear of being too outspoken. Fear of refusing a man sex. Fear of not being taken seriously. Fear of oppression.
But but but...
I'm not trying to say that all misogynists are going to go on a massacre because they believe that they have a right to women's bodies. Elliot Rodger's actions were not solely a result of misogyny, as it is very clear that he suffered from mental illness.
But it is worth noting that all around the world, every day, women are raped and murdered, or killed as a result of domestic abuse. These occurrences are
so common that the news barely ever reports them any more.
I'm not trying to say that
all men are rapists and sexist pigs who don't respect women. I know that not all men are like that. Most women know that (note I said most, not all. There should be no generalisations either way).
But that doesn't change the fact that when walking home through the park
when it is still light I am still scared of the man walking behind me. That I carry my keys in my hand, just in case.
I am not saying that men do not suffer from sexism.
But if I say that I am tired of dealing with sexism from men, as soon as a man says:
"Hey, it's not all men that are sexist. And men have to deal with sexism from women too,"
my opinion is immediately undermined and invalidated.
Because then the issue is all about men, and what they suffer. It puts the sexism that men and women have to deal with on the same level, which is an inaccurate way of looking at things.
Women had to fight for the vote.
Women had to fight for education.
Women had to fight to have a career.
Men received all these things simply because they are men. That's a fact.
I could make an extensive list of basic human rights that women are still fighting for. Such as equal pay. Or not being groped by strangers.
I posted many of the #YesAllWomen tweets on Facebook because as a young woman, who sees and experiences sexism on a regular basis, I felt the need to educate.
I felt the need to educate others on the reality of the sexism women face daily, and the fear that women are living in because of it. Because so many people do not know or understand what women have to deal with. Again,
I am not saying that men do not have to deal with sexism too. But there seems to be a common myth that men have it as hard as women in this world.
If you want to check any of the posts out, I made them public on my
Facebook profile.
Many of the responses I received to my posts argued something completely different to the point I was trying to get across.
Some accused women of generalising men.
As soon as the word 'feminist' was mentioned, it was suggested that while some outspoken feminists are searching for equality, it seems as if a desire for supremacy (used loosely) may be more the case.
People took things personally, and one person pointed out that if they had made similar posts but about women, they would be labelled a sexist. The thing that they and the fifteen people who liked the comment failed to understand, is that if you were to reverse the posts and made them about women, you
would be sexist. Because (for the third time) whilst
men suffer from sexism as well, they are not the ones fighting for equal rights. Women are fighting to be seen as equal to men, not the other way around. So for a man to make comments about how all men have to live in fear of women (not all the women though!), that's a flat-out lie.
Because that's what #YesAllWomen is about. Raising awareness about the fact that all women are living in fear.
So men, please! Stop making this about you! Women are not trying to take away your rights, or achieve world domination. They are not trying to undermine your totally righteous outrage at the sexism you suffer. There is no sarcasm in that statement, you suffer from sexism too, and it's not okay.
But stop trying to defend yourselves and absolve yourselves from blame against every single post. We know it's not every man. It's not a personal attack on you.
Instead, stop and listen to the cry of millions of women around the world that they have had enough.
Because the fact remains that when women report a rape, they are still asked what they were wearing.
And the fact remains, than when a misogynistic, mentally ill young man goes on a killing spree because he is a virgin and women reject him, as if he has a right to their bodies simply because he is a man, he is actually supported by members of the public. As if women were actually to blame for the massacre committed by a madman.
The fact remains that 'feminism' is viewed with contempt, but people don't even know what 'misogyny' is.
But I still think...
This post really only touches the tip of the iceberg. To be honest, we could argue and debate back and forth over this topic until the end of time. But you know what? That won't change anything.
Frankly, I do not have the time or energy to sit around defending my argument.
I am a feminist. I do not hate men. I am tired of living in fear, and seeing women around me living in fear.
It's time for change, and I am willing to be that change.
If you agree with what I have to say, great.
Check this out for another point of view. If what I've said angers you, even better.
Why?
"The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem
