I swore I was never going to watch the Cory Monteith memorial episode. I didn’t think I could handle it.
Well, I just did. And yes, I cried solidly for the 44 minutes.
I haven’t watched Glee in forever, but when it started, I loved it. I never thought Finn was the most attractive character, but I’m fairly sure I loved him the most. His death hit me in a way that I found quite unexpected- it's not like I knew him personally. I'd only ever seen him in Glee. But it rocked me, that such a talented, young, guy, that I guess I felt some connection to through my love of the show, could die so suddenly. And he was so loved. Watching ‘The Quarterback’, it really hit me how all those tears would have been genuine. And it really makes you have a good solid think about life and what you’re doing with it.
My whole life I’ve been relatively sheltered from death. I never had any friends or family members die, the worst I ever experienced were my pet fish and bird. Then, almost 2 years ago now, a girl from my school- that I knew relatively well- committed suicide. She was 14, and I was in shock for a few hours after I found out. I cried. I went to her memorial at school, and I cried some more. Even now, whenever I hear ‘Paradise’ by Coldplay, I pause and remember her, and a tear will come to my eye. Rest In Peace Ceri, precious girl.
This year, about 2 months ago, a lady that I used to babysit for died in a car crash. I had not seen her for a while, but I babysat once or twice a week for her every week for the better part of a year. Her boys are 6, and 10 (I think). I went to her funeral, and cried really hard. Knowing the family was hard, especially since for a while I had been part of their routine. She was turning 40 next month. Still so, so young. RIP Tracy. You will always be missed.
But both these deaths were somewhat removed from me. While I knew both people, I was not especially close with either of them.
Then, a few weeks ago, I got a text from one of my best friend’s mum, telling me that said best friend had been in a bad car crash. Her car was written off, and she’d broken her collarbone badly. One of her arms is immobilized for 6-8 weeks. I cried for an hour, just so incredibly thankful she was alive. Because she so easily could not have been, and that thought terrified me to my core. She is one of my oldest and closest friends, who, even though we don’t see each other very often, when we do, it’s like no time has passed. She’s a lifelong friend, one you know you’ll have forever.
And that definitely made me re-evaluate my life. Because all it takes is a second to lose someone. What am I doing with the time I have with the people I love? What am I doing with my life? And never have I been hit as hard with this before:
Life is short. Too short to care what others think, to be afraid, to do what you hate.
Watching the Glee episode made all this come back. I’ll never forget where I was when I heard about Cory’s death. It is truly tragic, and something that, along with Ceri, and Tracy’s deaths, will always serve as a reminder to me to not let life pass me by.
What are you doing with your line?
